An Alien, an Albigensian, and I walk into a bar
A space alien, an Albigensian, and I walk into a bar. We take our seats, and I take out the above picture.
Alien: Oh, I love Earth tech, what’s that?
Me: It’s a tool people use before sex.
Alien: Right, you guys love your sex, I bet this makes it feel so much better!
Albigensian: Are you kidding me? Earth is hell and punishment for the human soul! I bet they use this tool because they don’t want more spirits trapped in bodies.
Me: Actually Space Alien, our Albigensian friend here is right. We modern people use this to keep from having children.
Waitress: Can I get you an appetizer?
Albigensian: Go away, can’t you see I’m going through the endura to starve myself to death because the world is so evil?
Waitress: Whatever freak… [walks away]
Alien: Back to your Earth tech, how does it work?
Me: We stick this gun up a woman’s woman parts, and then release this metal bit hoping it makes enough damage to her woman parts so that she cannot conceive.
Albigensian: Now you’re talking! All sex should be made sterile by shoving stuff up female body parts! And it’s preferable that all sex take place outside of marriage! I love you modern people — you are so contemporary with the Dark Ages that I feel right at home!
Alien: Has your species advanced at all in the past 800 years?
Me: I think I need a beer…