An Alien, an Albigensian, and I walk into a bar

by nonewsisnew

A space alien, an Albigensian, and I walk into a bar.  We take our seats, and I take out the above picture.

Alien: Oh, I love Earth tech, what’s that?

Me: It’s a tool people use before sex.

Alien: Right, you guys love your sex, I bet this makes it feel so much better!

Albigensian: Are you kidding me?  Earth is hell and punishment for the human soul! I bet they use this tool because they don’t want more spirits trapped in bodies.

Me: Actually Space Alien, our Albigensian friend here is right.  We modern people use this to keep from having children.

Waitress: Can I get you an appetizer?

Albigensian: Go away, can’t you see I’m going through the endura to starve myself to death because the world is so evil?

Waitress: Whatever freak… [walks away]

Alien: Back to your Earth tech, how does it work?

Me: We stick this gun up a woman’s woman parts, and then release this metal bit hoping it makes enough damage to her woman parts so that she cannot conceive.

Albigensian: Now you’re talking!  All sex should be made sterile by shoving stuff up female body parts!  And it’s preferable that all sex take place outside of marriage!  I love you modern people — you are so contemporary with the Dark Ages that I feel right at home!

Alien: Has your species advanced at all in the past 800 years?

Me: I think I need a beer…